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Thing I don't understand about sexual violence:

It appears that, to most people, non-negotiated quasi-consensual violence is hot.

Attempts to *negotiate* fully-consensual violence are NOT hot, because they give the sense that one might be into non-consensual violence.

... dafuq?

EDIT: Caveat - this isn't true with everyone, but it seems like it becomes more true, the more attractive the person is that I'm flirting with. Like, I could easily find people who are *completely* into fully negotiated, consensual scenes, as long as I completely gave up on being with people I was sexually attracted to. And my sexual attraction is based on things that seem like they should be COMPLETELY independent of cultural behaviors and assumptions, so I'm REALLY confused what's going on here.