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Here is the flavor of my manipulation:

I notice that I want a person to do X with me, and enjoy doing X with me. X { magic the gathering, sex, bondage, exercise, game design, computer programming, sticking to a diet, walking in the park, talking about philosophy, etc.

If they do not want to do X with me, or will do X with me but do not enjoy it, I will see if they *want* to enjoy it. If they do, then I will start manipulating them into enjoying X.

If they DON'T want to enjoy X, but I still very strongly want to do X with them, and want them to enjoy doing X with me, then I will see if they might *want* to want to enjoy it. If they do, then I will start manipulating them into wanting to enjoy X.

I do not seem to have a level at which I stop recursing this, beyond being told to fuck off and never speak to them again.

I recognize that this is incredibly manipulative.

I ALSO recognize that this is pretty much how everyone behaves all the time, but subconsciously and within social boundaries that make the way *they* do it okay.

I do not have access to those subconscious social moves. I can either choose a layer to stop manipulating at, or go all-out.

If I choose a layer to stop manipulating at, I do not get what I want very often.

If I go all-out, I feel creepy and pushy and manipulative.

I am not sure if there *IS* a correct behavior, beyond 'be the kind of human who has the correct subconscious behavioral modules.' But I missed that part of childhood.